We’ve got this happiness thing the wrong way round. Here’s how to resolve it.
In my experience, when you ask someone what they want in the future, the reply is usually a list of activities they would like to do or things they would like to acquire.
When you ask someone, ‘Who are you?’ The response will typically include their occupation.
According to convention, I would normally ask: ‘What are you doing now?’ not ‘Who are you being now?’
The 3 points above give us a strong insight into how much the notions of doing and having are valued over being in our hectic world.
Someone who can get a lot done, is efficient and manages time well is praised. A person who has many possessions or great wealth is respected, people who travel a lot and have many life experiences are similarly admired.
These are all outwardly visible activities and realities, making them far easier to value than simply the emotional or energetic state someone is maintaining.
Who they are being.
But it is crucial to recognise that this inner state exists before we do or have anything. It is the most basic reality we experience at all times and can never escape from. Even if we sat in one spot for the rest of our lives, had no possessions and did nothing else we would still possess a state of being.
It is from this inner place, composed of thoughts, values, beliefs, emotions, memories, fears and all of the other complex workings of a human that action arises, and from those actions habits are formed, and from habits come a life.
So let’s forget what we’re are doing right now, how much money and how many gadgets we have in our pocket and all of the other external processes and just ask ‘Who am I BEING right now’?
The general idea is that when we have certain objects or achieve certain goals our behaviour will change, then the results of our new actions will cause us to become different people.
So we may tell ourselves that when we have got our dream job, we will have more money and free time so we can be more generous and do more for others, which will in turn make us happier.
This sequence could be described as ‘Have, Do, Be’.
We’re often reminded to be the change we wish to see in the world. This is because when we change our state, our thoughts change, followed by our actions; then new habits form and suddenly situations and things we want, including that dream job, turn up in our experience.
So it appears the correct sequence for getting what you want is ‘Be, Do, Have’.
When we become happier people, our intentions and habits shift and we align ourselves to what we want with more integrity, thus attracting it to us more powerfully.
There are many people out there saying they want to be rich, or have a fantastic relationship, or a loving family but don’t realise they are not being the sort of person who does the kinds of actions necessary to have those things.
If you are not being loving, generous, thoughtful and forgiving it is unreasonable to expect such things to come to you from others. It’s no good complaining about your colleagues or the neighbours or politicians, because that comes from a state of negativity and hostility. Again, look at who you are when you are doing these kinds of things. What do they get you?
Let’s bring the words we say and the thoughts we think into conscious awareness, we may be surprised at the correlation between those and the situations we find ourselves in during our lives.
Let’s be as careful about what comes out of our mouths as what goes into them.
Stay aware, like and share.
Co-Founder | Form